I feel horrible

I had to put my dog down after staying up with him all night. I had to break my promise to him because they wouldnt let me back with him.
He ate a few dollars worth of coins And his body slowly shut down. He stopped eating and drinking and right before i was going to go to bed he began peeing blood, dark black.
By the time everyone got up his eyes turned and he couldnt even walk, i had to hold him down for his own safety while he was crying out in pain.

I feel so bad that i didnt have to money to get him surgery or anything, but the shelter put him down for me for free. Before i forget the promise i made to him was that i would hold him until his last breath and i couldnt keep it.

I hate my life right now.

So sorry Shadow. I had to put my own dog down, I know that though it's not completely my fault I could have taken better care of him, and he'd live longer and happier life. My and my father buried him later that night, I can't forget that. I'm sure it doesn't mean he love you any less than he did before, I'm sorry you couldn't keep your promise, but it's not all you.
I know how it feels, and that's why I promised, too, that I'll be with the next dog I'll own as an owner should be, and treat him right. You must know Shadow, that he knows how much you love him, he can't be mad at you because even if you didn't do all you think you should do you did what you could for him, you're his friend =)

I'm so sorry Shadow, I truly am. Nobody should have to see their dog being put down. When I was 10 years old, I had held my rabbit, Cinnamon, for the last time. I put him back in his cage and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to see him dead in his cage, and it crushed me to see him gone forever.
But as for your dog, it isn't your fault. Dogs will love their owners unconditionally, no matter what, and I'm sure he loves you, as Magus said. <3