When She Cries [ Spritz / R ]

Leah frowned, but it was in a playful manner. He just wasn’t going to tell her, was he? He was acting like a little kid, but Leah found it cute, and decided not to complain. She trusted him when he promised she’d like it, and rolled her eyes gently, “I do trust you,” Leah replied, “You’re just being stubborn.” Leah added the last part with a jest and a (very) gentle poke to his shoulder, that was more like a tap than anything else. Leah made sure to divert her eyes when he put his shirt on, for no other reason than she’d just keep blushing if he kept his shirt off any longer. But she looked back up at him, wishing his bruise was more of an ‘out of sight, out of mind,’ kind of thing. But it wasn’t. Not to her, anyway. But she let herself be taken back down the stairs, Eric slipping her hand into his again. She smiled gently, a warm feeling spreading through her entire body. She…they. They just connected, and Leah was beginning to think it was something that couldn’t be one-sided. No…what they had was special. More special than what she’d had with Micah, she would dare to say. There wasn’t much else Leah could say. She was happy she’d met Eric, and in all reality, she was happy she was leaving this hellhole.

But she suddenly got this horrible sense of foreboding when she looked at her parents and brother. For some reason…she felt like this was far from over. Why couldn’t life just be easy? Why couldn’t she – and Eric – live normal lives? Maybe…maybe be the same ‘high school sweethearts’ people are when they’re actually in high school? Leah would like to go to school. She really, really would. Her education was lacking, thanks to her good-for-nothing parents who only homeschooled her when it was convenient for them. And strangely enough, it was never ‘convenient’ for them. Ever. Leah had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing at the shade of red her father’s face turned at Eric’s comment. Why get so angry if he and his wife had made the decision to kick her out in the first place? Why get so angry that they were losing her, when it was evident they’d never wanted her in the first place? Leah hated them. She absolutely abhorred them.

Once they got outside, Eric gently bumped into Leah’s shoulder, and she looked up at him. He was taller than her by a good few inches, bit in all honesty, it didn’t bother her much. It was a good height for if she ever wanted to rest her head on his shoulder. Her neck wouldn’t have to crane over in a painful way, like it would have if he’d been her height. Anyways, Leah always thought that the boy should be taller than the girl. Maybe it was some random, cliché feeling, but she had the feeling and belief anyways. Leah looked down at the sidewalk in front of her, putting her hands in her jacket pockets after throwing the other strap of her backpack onto her shoulder. She sighed and, in reply, whispered softly, “I know.” With that, Leah looked back up at him, speaking a bit louder this time, “I know. I trust you.” She smiled gently, if not somewhat longingly, before saying, “Now come on! Are you gonna show me where the hell you’re taking me or not?” Leah poked his shoulder gently again, her smile widening slightly. She felt like she could truly be herself around him. The real Leah, not the Leah that had been a slave in her own household. And she hadn’t gotten to know that Leah entirely herself, but she was happy she was being presented the chance to.

Leah rolled her eyes, “Fine. I’ll stop asking, because I know you’re not going to tell me.” Leah chuckled and stole a quick glance at Eric. “You’re a goof, you know that?” Leah smiled and returned to looking at her feet as she walked. It didn’t take long for the duo to reach Eric’s car, and at first the condition of the car surprised her. However, when she thought about it, it seemed like any one of those boys who were a bit rough around the edges would have a car like this. It kind of…fit with Eric’s personality, if she could use that word. Leah couldn’t help but let out a quick laugh when Eric started trying to convince her that it still drove perfectly fine. The tone in which he said it made Leah laugh again, “I believe you, I believe you.” Leah smiled at him gently. She felt much ‘lighter’ when he was around. She knew he’d protect her. She knew he’d take care of her to the best of his ability. And Leah loved that sense of security that came with it. And along with that sense of security, came a sense of peace and happiness Leah hadn’t felt in a long while. And she couldn’t help but laugh at the simple things anymore. After such a long time without having anything to laugh about, laughing at the simple things in life felt nice. It felt like she was slowly beginning to make up for all the ground she’d lost while she was working her ass off trying to please her family.

Leah followed Eric to the passenger’s side and thanked him when he opened the door for her. A true gentleman. Didn’t find many guys like him around anymore. Chivalry seemed to die down with the time period it had existed with. Leah had sat down and looked up at Eric, realizing his eyes were on her. But Leah didn’t avert her eyes like she normally would have. Whatever he was thinking, Leah would let him think it. But all she could think about was how clear his eyes finally looked. He looked much happier, and there was something in the deep, dark-colored orbs that held an air of mystery and mischief, but also a sense of duty, for guarding and caring for, that Leah loved. It’d been too long since someone looked at her like that. It made her feel good about herself, inside and out. For the first time, Eric broke their gaze, and Leah let him. When he smiled at her, Leah couldn’t help but wonder if it was purely happy. It hadn’t seemed like the others. Or maybe she was just paranoid. Yeah. That was probably what it was. Leah watched him as he walked to the driver’s side and caught a glimpse of a blush on his cheeks, and Leah held back a laugh by biting her tongue lightly. He looked cute when he blushed. Really cute.

When Eric got into the car, however, Leah’s demeanor changed for a split second. This was the first time she’d been in a car since her accident with Micah. She doubted anything would go wrong, but Leah couldn’t shake off the natural sense of dread that came with the association of cars. After the accident, Leah’s brain had automatically linked cars with bad things. Bad memories. Leah immediately put on a front that she was fine as she buckled her seatbelt and shifted slightly in the seat, picking at her jeans, even though there was nothing there. It’s fine, Leah reassured herself. Fine. Absolutely, 100% fine. It didn’t take long for Leah’s confidence in herself to shatter and break down into nothing. But Leah was good at pretending. She was good at faking she was all right. She’d done it almost all her life. But some things were hard to play pretend with. Some things, true emotions, like terror or hatred or remorse, were too hard to disguise fully, no matter how hard one tried. Sometimes, trying to mask these emotions made it even more obvious that somebody was hiding something. But Leah couldn’t let her fear show. Eric was a good guy, and the last thing she wanted was to make him feel like he was doing something wrong. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel like he was forcing her to do something she really, really didn’t want to do. Smiling gently, if not somewhat weakly, Leah looked over at Eric, “All right, let’s get this show on the road. I’m super curious as to where the heck you’re taking me!” Leah, for half a second, felt her heart lift, but shortly after her little burst of ‘being okay’ she lapsed back into silence, turning her head to look out the window. God damn it, Leah thought to herself, God damn it, why can’t it be easy? Why can’t I be normal? Nothing bad is going to happen, I know…I know…right? Leah tightened one of her fists, making sure it was out of Eric’s line of sight before letting out a deep breath, silently. Damn it. Maybe I can hide it from Eric, but I sure as hell can’t hide it from myself. I’m terrified.

[ Nah, it’s fine. I’m actually impressed that you wrote that much considering you’re on your phone. It’s impressive xD ]

Leah glanced out the window, wondering why they weren’t going anywhere, but at the same time not really caring either. She’d rather just sit in the car and wish the ride to be over and have it be that way than actually have to… drive somewhere. However, she wasn’t about to make anyone feel awkward by being terrified like a rabbit in the car. She trusted Eric. Well…she trusted him as much as she possibly could, considering she’d just met him, had spent the night with him, and had gotten kicked out of her house with him. It was hardly ‘her’ house, or anything close to it, but it was the closest thing she’d had to a home… Hopefully he knew what he was doing. Hopefully he would – could – take her somewhere where things like her damned family wouldn’t matter anymore. The only thing that scratched at the back of her mind was the fact that her mother hadn’t said she was leaving ‘for good.’ That could only mean one of two things. Either one, they’d let her be until they couldn’t live without her anymore and needed their precious little maid back, or two, they’d take her back just to make her life a living hell for being a ‘bad example’ to her little sisters. They were innocent enough. How was her mother (and father, for that matter) going to explain to them that she was randomly never around to pick up their toys anymore? She got kidnapped? Went on vacation? Boarding school? Got her own apartment (she wished)? She felt his eyes on her, and she turned her head a little bit to gaze back at him, but quickly went back to staring out the window, afraid her eyes would betray the swirling emotions she was still trying to get under control.

Leah’s stomach flipped a bit when the car started and moved into motion and Eric started talking again. She found his voice soothing, despite her current circumstances. “I don’t understand a lot of things,” Leah replied halfheartedly. It was true. This was definitely one of them, so the two of them were on the same boat here. Leah snorted a bit at Eric’s observation. “Don’t be stupid,” she said, “I’m not their daughter, I’m their maid. I always have been, really. It just got worse when Micah died.” Leah’s heart clenched painfully in her chest and the tears threatened to hit again. Too much had happened in too little time. For the first time in a while, she’d reached her breaking point again, and she just didn’t know how to cope with it. At least she actually had someone this time. Someone who would hold her if she needed holding, say the right words, and not just because he knew them, but because he meant them. That was all that mattered. Words meant little from anyone else, but there was something about Eric that just made her believe that everything he said he meant. Everything he said was going to be backed up with actions. That his words weren’t just empty; weren’t like pieces of paper to be thrown away when they were inconvenient and out-of-place. Leah shook her head a little bit and glared down at her hands in her lap, “Liam…” she said, before her voice dropped into a hoarse whisper, “He’s never hurt me before. Not physically at least. He…” Leah bit the inside of her cheek, glad her hair was covering her face, hiding her pain. “Micah was the only one who was ever there for me.” Leah’s voice dropped lower, to the point she doubted Eric would hear her, and that suited her just find, “He promised he’d protect me. That he’d always be there.”

Leah blinked a little bit when she saw (and felt) Eric’s hand covered hers. Slowly, hesitantly, she looked over at him. She couldn’t really hide her mixed emotions at that point either. That familiar feeling in the back of her throat that signified oncoming tears was painfully uncomfortable, but she pushed it away and murmured, “Thank you…”

Leah smiled a little when he said it was gone. “Thanks,” she said, noticing he wasn’t looking her right in the eyes but she wasn’t going to point it out or anything. That’d be more embarrassing for him than it would be awkward for her. At least…she thought it might be. Micah would’ve just kissed her and told her to shut up, but Eric wasn’t Micah, so she’d just remain quiet. It was probably ‘safer’ that way, anyways. Leah sighed a little and glanced at Eric’s eyes. The emotion they portrayed almost seemed unrealistic. It was all so bright and shining with hope…Leah had no idea if her own eyes had ever shown that, or if they ever would. Maybe it was just Eric. He was special, and he made her feel relaxed. Safe, protected, loved. Perhaps not in that way, but he did make her feel loved. And she doubted that would ever change. No matter what happened…they’d work through it. They’d get through whatever the cold, dark world would throw at them. They’d catch it in their hands and throw it right back at the world. Maybe some people didn’t think making a bubble for yourself was safe, or healthy. But…if it meant she would be happy, and that Eric would be happy, too, she wouldn’t mind creating that little unhealthy bubble. She felt like she was in a bubble right now, too. Almost literally. It was as if Eric was the only person in her life and in the world right now. The only person in the room, almost. In reality, she knew they were surrounded by noisy people talking and laughing, but she felt like she was deaf; numb to the noises of people that didn’t matter.

Leah smiled and nodded. Yes…yes they were going to start something, weren’t they? It didn’t even matter at this point in time if they knew exactly what that something was or not. They were going to start something and they’d never let go of it. And maybe, in the off-chance that Eric did let go of it…she never would. She’d hold onto this very moment right here, right now, if it was the last moment she was to ever share with Eric. In her heart she knew there would be more memories and more time to make them in the future, and not the distant future, either. The near future. The very near future. It was as if they were building their lives…starting now. All the years they’d spent away from each other wondering why the world was so cruel no longer factored into the equation. Once you find someone who can be your guide and guardian, and you can be their guide and guardian, too…nothing else matters as much as it used to. Leah smiled, this time her smile reaching her eyes, as he continued to talk. When he finished talking, she let out a contented sigh and brushed his bangs out of his eyes slightly before resting her forehead on his, “Yes. It must’ve happened for a reason. It can’t be an everyday occurrence when you meet someone for the first time and it feels…like…well, like this. I can’t even put words on it.” Leah blushed a little bit but didn’t pull away. She enjoyed the closeness, and his hand on hers felt so right. It was astounding. “I know we will be.” She paused and her eyes dulled for a second, thinking, “I promise I’ll always be here when you need me, alright? I want you to be able to smile every day and laugh for no good reason. I don’t want you to have to deal with whatever you’ve gone through alone anymore. And I promise I’ll be honest with you too. After all that’s happened…I don’t see any reason to keep secrets anyway.” Leah smiled, “You’re right, though. We will be alright now.”

Leah was glad that the two of them had connected so quickly and so easily. She didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t have anybody right now…she had no idea how she’d have coped if he’d gotten her kicked out – she didn’t necessarily blame him for that, it was partially her fault, too – and then left her. In all honesty she didn’t know a single guy who would stay with her the way Eric was. He was taking care of her to the best of his ability and she’d never be able to thank him fully for that. Even past any bruises and scars, he was a wonderful, lovely person and she couldn’t put into words how lucky she was to have found someone like him to be a friend to and with. Leah’s smile only got brighter as she thought about it more. She felt like a little girl again, beaming because she’d gotten something that meant more to her than anything in the world. However, unlike when she had been little, she wasn’t letting this one go. And for some strange reason, she had a feeling like Eric wasn’t going to get ‘old’ like a toy did. Although it was incredibly strange for her, and unlike her in every imaginable way – and unimaginable way, she supposed – to trust someone…she felt like every word that fell from his lips meant something important and that he would never break his promises to her. If he ever did…she also got the sneaking suspicion she’d probably end up forgiving him, if it meant he’d come back to her in the end. Yeah…there was something wrong with her, she knew it, but she didn’t mind it, either. If anyone could make her happy in trying times, especially like these times, where most ‘normal’ kids never dealt with them, she would stand by them not only because they deserved it, but probably because they wouldn’t just be ‘some person’ to her at that point.

Realizing her thoughts were straying, she pulled her attention back to Eric in front of her. The two of them didn’t talk for a minute or two, just happily reveling in the comfortable silence they shared and lost in thinking their own thoughts. She didn’t know what Eric was thinking, and she didn’t really care, but only because she knew that what she felt wasn’t a one-way thing. He’d made it abundantly clear, to her at least, that there was something different about the two of them. It didn’t take a genius to realize that, either, though. Leah looked over at Eric, somewhat confused, when he stood up out of the blue and walked over to her. A small surprised noise escaped her lips when he picked her up, but her lips curved into a smile when he started to spin her around, his arms around her. She felt very safe…and although she’d already thought it a million times, it was truer than anything that had ever been true in her life. Her smile faded only slightly when she felt his head in the crook of her neck, wrapping her arms around him as well and closing her eyes, reveling in the warmth the two of them shared. When he hugged her tightly, she was slightly surprised, but she welcomed it. It made her feel…at home. Like no matter what, the outside world and all its hard, cold realities couldn’t reach her when she was in his embrace. When Eric started talking again, she opened her eyes and looked at him, the smile on his face bringing one to her own. When he rested his forehead against her own, her expression softened a little. His comment caught her a little bit off-guard, and she wasn’t exactly sure how to respond, but she was glad to know that she’d done something for him already. She hoped it showed on her face, because she sure felt like it did. After a second of taking everything in; his words, his face, his expression; she moved her head to his shoulder and closed her eyes, smiling at the warmth she felt in her chest. “Thank you, too, Eric…” she said softly, “For everything.”

Offhandedly, Leah realized she’d like to stay this way: close to him, feeling safe, feeling warm, loved, cared for, for one of the first times in her life. It was like she was starting her life all over again, and even though she didn’t know Eric all that well, she wouldn’t want to be starting it over again with anyone else. She fell into the comfortable feeling of it all and closed her eyes a bit, having the strangest feeling she could fall asleep like this, but knew she oughtn’t. Especially if she was standing up – that was just foolish. But the way she felt inside right now…it was unlike any other feeling she’d ever had, and she loved it. She really, really loved it. She felt…special. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was going to be something that was going to last. When Eric started talking again, she listened quietly. When he finished, she couldn’t help but smile as she opened her eyes again and looked up at Eric, moving her head off of his shoulder so she could do so. “You did do something, though,” Leah replied quietly, looking into Eric’s eyes. “You found me.” Leah knew in her heart what she meant, whether or not Eric did was unknown to her. She only nodded as he finished what he was saying.

When Eric let the two of them drift apart some, she didn’t fight back. She supposed that maybe it’d be a little bit awkward if they just stayed there for any longer. Besides, they were in a public place. Was he maybe uncomfortable with it? She didn’t really want to think on it that much, because even though they were technically complete strangers, almost, she thought it had just felt…right. She hadn’t felt this right with Micah, which made her second guess herself, and what had happened. It didn’t change the fact that, in reality, his death had been her fault. She’d taken the son away from a family. She’d taken away the possible father to her children. She’d taken away a friend, a nephew, a cousin… She’d taken away one of the most special human beings on the face of the planet – one of the most pure, the most blessed, people she’d ever known. Leah shook her head a little bit, knowing if she thought on it much longer she’d start crying again, and crying in public was the last thing she wanted to do. When Eric smiled, she gave him a wavering smile in return. She blushed a bit when he said her hair smelled good – why, she didn’t know, but she did anyways.

She gave Eric a little nod at what he said. “It’d be better to stay here than anywhere else, I guess,” Leah said quietly, thinking on it. She couldn’t help but laugh at him saying ‘if he annoyed her.’ “I really don’t think you could annoy me, Eric,” she said with a gentle smirk, “Unless you want to make it a challenge. I’d probably just end up laughing.” Leah shrugged a little bit. She chuckled at what he offered next, “You’d really go shopping with me? I don’t know many guys that would go shopping with a girl, especially one they had just met…I supposed it was more of a kind of ‘here hold my purse’ type of reaction…” Leah trailed off a little bit. “Sorry, I’m rambling.” She pulled some hair behind her ear and dropped her gaze to the floor, a little bit embarrassed about how she had so easily started rambling. Nothing new, she supposed…nothing new. “Anyways. You don’t have to do that for me…I think I have enough clothes for two other outfits…as long as I can wash my clothes I should be fine. But thank you.”